A large brown bear picking and eating apples.
Gross indulgence and a conscience that just won’t quit. Saturating your energy field with exaggerated gestures of capitulation to your own lower nature. But you do this in continual ironic juxtaposition to an observing intelligence and a keen conscience which deplore and have no use for your own shenanigans. Being split between the compulsive and addictive personality and the dispassionate and icily-removed consciousness. You’re trying to turn yourself around by alternately bingeing and reforming. But each binge triggers a reaction of the other side of mind, and each renunciation and reformation in turns triggers a further reaction. This dialectic between being bad and being good is all on the pro and con level of the dualistic mind. The only hope in this pattern lies in wearing out both ends, so that a third place can open in which neither acting out nor becoming exemplary is all that necessary. You do what you do and you see it the way you see it and all the self-conscious overlays and each and every self-manipulation in whatever direction dissolve when the space is clear.
Carelli Alternative Meaning:
This influence confers a bright mind, but carries something tragical in itself and spells mishap. The rest of the horoscope will have to say whether the native is himself the author or the victim of such bad luck. But whether evil or ill-fated, the native will be an unhappy being anyhow, unable as he is to grasp the meaning of his own actions. According to what the stars say, he may lack partial or total moral sense or prudence. He will get into trouble unconsciously in any event, and will realize his plight when it is too late.
The physique inclines to weakness, as does the mind. I said there is a remarkable intelligence. I may add, this is not in keeping with all the rest. However, the chance of distinguishing oneself in some branch of science is not ruled out; the native is even likely to attain renown, though it may be in a good or bad sense.