It isn’t the easiest thing in the world to be an Aries woman- in a world which burns Joan of Arc. The attitude which prevailed in Joan’s time is not over yet. When you read the judgments and pronouncements of her contemporaries on her, you find an astonishing thing: what really upset everybody about Joan wasn’t her visions, her charisma, her wild myth, her drama, her strange capacity to predict victories. It was her insistence on dressing in masculine garb. Virtually every pronouncement against her mentions this, as the worst, the most unforgivable of her sins.
The Aries woman, however feminine she is, however devoted a wife and mother, also needs a crusade. She needs challenge too, and projects which stimulate and inspire her, and a cause to follow, and a goal to reach. She also needs to feel she is doing something to promote change and progress, on however small a level. Aries women are naturals for executive positions and positions of leadership, because their strength, courage, directness, and conviction give them both personal charisma and authority. They are action people. You can’t expect them to sit quietly behind the typewriter, or in the kitchen baking bread twenty-four hours a day. In a way, the world is only just becoming able to accommodate the clear fire of the Aries woman. Traditional astrological interpretations in the past have emphasized her masculine qualities as though these took away from the essential femaleness.
Aries is not, of course, the type of woman who fulfills the fantasies of the lovers of geisha girls in paradise. She is not likely to be pliable, submissive, and an empty vessel into which a man can project all his fantasies. She is not likely to hero-worship or smile sweetly when her mate is behaving insufferably. She’s more likely to argue, shout, show a temper tantrum, storm out of the house, or place her own career first. And quite rightly for her, for this is a spirited sign which has suffered from the weight of social conditioning placed upon it.
Aries may not be also particularly maternal. Mars-ruled, her energy may need direction through other kinds of creativity. Often Aries women, if they are mothers, are dedicated and devoted, but essentially impatient and much better as companions and friends when the children are older. They lack the quietness and capacity to put up with noise and confusion which needs to be present along with the love in the early years of a child’s life. They are also apt to push the child, if it is moving in the direction contrary to the parent’s wishes. But Aries women, as mothers, have the unique virtue of not being likely to live their own lives through their children. This is an inestimable gift. It spares the psyche of the child, so that it can develop as itself.
You might say, and of course there are exceptions among individual Ariens, that the Aries woman is a much better mistress than she is a wife. This is because she must have romance and a certain amount of challenge in her relationships. And she is also sometimes ferociously independent, and all too likely to attract an easily dominated mate looking for a Joan of Arc.
The chief difficulty with the Aries woman in relationships is her competitiveness. She is apt to see a man as not only a challenge, but a fellow contestant. One-upmanship can be a real problem for the Aries woman, and her natural egocentricity can also be a terrific bruise. It isn’t any worse in the Aries woman than it is in the Aries man. But it seems that the male ego, at this stage of our development, is less equipped to cope with an Aries assault than the female, which has a few thousand years of practice.
The Aries woman is also apt to try to take over and change her loved ones. This kind of interference – known popularly as bossiness – is amusing to some people and infuriating to others. It depends on your taste, and on whether or not you can deal with it productively. Better to fight it, because Aries understands a good fight where she doesn’t understand sly inferences and undercurrents and subtle emotional pressures. Often the Aries woman is defenceless against the veiled barb, the indirect hostility; this is why she is often a much better friend of men than of women. It is typical of Aries women to prefer the company of men. In part, it’s because she’s peculiarly inept at the little undercurrents, subtle jealousies, and inferences which are so much a part of the shadow sides of women’s friendships. In part, it’s because there’s always the sparkle of the challenge and the flirtation of her.
This woman is noble, and has a noble spirit. She can be extremely difficult to live with and relate to, for all the reasons we’ve discussed. Unlike the Leo woman, who prefers the role of the queen, or the Sagittarian woman, who prefers the role of the hetaera, Aries is capable of tremendous loyal commitment. She will fight for those she loves, devote herself to them, work for them, believe in them, inspire them. She’s capable of being side by side on the battlefield while preserving her innate femaleness. Men with fragile egos which need cosseting, stay away. I have a good friend married to an Aries woman who once, after discussing some trivial complaint about her bossiness, said, ‘There isn’t anybody like her in the world. I would never want to leave her. It’s because she’s herself, her own person. She’s doing something with her life. She’s interesting and exciting. I admire and respect her.’ If you are the sort of man who is reluctant to offer admiration and respect to a strong woman, try another sign. But you’d be missing an awful lot.
From the book “Astrology for Lovers,” written by Liz Green.