As you might expect, the dark face of Aquarius, the secret side which he often can’t face, springs from his complete dedication in ordinary life to his ethical codes. Where Aquarius consciously strives for selflessness, his shadow side is completely self-centred; where his dedication to others is often faultless in ordinary life, his shadow is dedicated to the upholding of his position of control.
You can see the shadow side peeping through especially in those situations where Aquarius is on his ideological hobby-horse. Watch him corner the centre of the stage, and push anybody else off who happens to disagree with him. Usually reasonable to a fault, all that repressed longing to be somebody special in his own right sometimes drives him to rather odd behaviour. The result is that he frequently can’t practise what he preaches, especially in personal relations. Equality is fine for humanity, but not for you.
There is also another side to the Aquarian shadow, connected with the first. This is his secret longing to be liked and admired by everyone – to the degree where he can often be pushed uphill against his principles for fear of what others think of him. It’s sometimes termed weakness of character, or wishy-washiness. And it’s rather surprising when you see it next to the kind of courage of conviction which is more usually his behaviour.
What all this boils down to can be put into one rather unpleasant word: hypocrisy. This is the greatest danger, the greatest foible in the Aquarain temperament. He says one thing and often does another unwittingly. And it’s frequently those closest that suffer for it. Take his ideals of equality, for example. You’ll hear many Aquarians wax eloquent on this theme. Whether it’s equality between races, or freedom to worship as one pleases, or equality of rights between the sexes, Aquarius can go on for hours on this theme, once he gets warmed up. But you’ll often see a pronounced inequality displayed in his personal life – especially toward those who display the emotionalism or irrationality which he so fears and despises. His wife, often is given no real ‘equality’ – he simply can’t be bothered to listen to anything which isn’t presented in a logical form. His children are often given no real ‘equality’ – their demands are too selfish, too emotional, for his taste. His real equality is reserved for verbal debate, when he will always offer his opponent the right to speak. But equality of heart is often difficult for him, because his concept of equality is limited to the realm of ideas and intellect.
Another adjunct to this particular shadow side of Aquarius is his propensity to reform everybody. This, too, is contradictory to his belief that all people should be granted freedom of choice, so long as they agree with him. Watch a zealous Aquarian pursuing his pet subject – whether it is women’s liberation, socialism, distribution of wealth, ecology, or whatever. Usually his hobby-horses always concern the benefit of some group or other. But if you don’t happen to agree with him, you’re given short shrift. No equality for you. You’ve disagreed; and of course there’s only one truth, isn’t there? Often Aquarius can’t see the paradox in his behaviour. The epitome of it is in what Marx called Dialectic Materialism. Or perhaps in Democracy: government by the people, of the people, for the people. And if you don’t agree with it, then, by God, you’ll be made to. The innate contradiction in all this is very elusive to the Aquarian mind. The worker for whom the revolution is fought is coerced into a behaviour pattern and a life which he has not a jot of freedom – to pursue his own religious inclinations, his own creative enterprise, or his own freedom of speech. Yet the battle was fought for his freedom. It is pretty difficult to refrain from commenting on the hypocrisy of this attitude.
Now, the hypocrisy of the Aquarian shadow isn’t deliberate. He genuinely doesn’t see it, doesn’t know about it. If he did, he would be abjectly shocked – because he doesn’t mean to be unfair. You might say that this strange shadow side appears because he’s so rigid in his expectations of himself and of others. His attempts to reform human nature are, in many ways, a projection onto others of his belief that he should reform his own. But he often doesn’t realize that all such attempts, like charity, must begin at home.
Another facet to this is the practise-what-you-preach exercise. Aquarius usually doesn’t. This type of Aquarian is most in evidence in the learned professions. He knows a great deal about the maps, models, techniques, mechanisms and behaviour patterns of his favorite subject of study: man. But he often can’t learn these in application to his own behaviour patterns. Because he’s so often out of touch with his own emotions, they sneak up on him, and make him do things he doesn’t see or understand. Anger, resentment, jealousy, longing, need, helplessness, fear – the ordinary gamut of human foibles – are often things he will simply not acknowledge, because they make him nervous. He has them, the same as anybody else. He just doesn’t see them. But then, it’s typical of the shadow of every sign. You don’t always see the shadow you cast behind you, because the light is in front of you, and you’re busy looking at the light.
Nobody has any testimony about what Mrs. Lincoln thought of her husband. Or what Mrs. Edison thought. We can only conjecture. But you can see the Aquarian shadow in a lot of places: the Aquarian politician campaigning for equality which he can’t be bothered to give the time of day (or any freedom) to his family, the Aquarian psychologist who knows all the theories but hasn’t spotted his own emotional needs, the Aquarian doctor who devotes his time and energy to his patients while his loved ones must find a clinic for treatment. The list is long. The solution? Like the shadow problems of all the signs, this one needs awareness. It also means that ideals, in order to be worth anything at all, have to be tempered with not only compassion, but with realism. Human nature just isn’t perfect yet – certainly not perfect enough to behave in the fashion in which many Aquarians demand. Total selflessness is simply an impossibility. Like the other airy signs, Aquarius often doesn’t remember that though we have our heads in heaven, our feet are on the earth and our bodies have evolved up through the animal kingdom. To Aquarius, man is not a dual creature; he is a son of the gods. As Menande said, ‘the intellect in every man is God.’ When Aquarius understands that the feelings and the visions and the body of every man are god as well, then he can become what he truly is at heart: the visionary and the prophet, the server of the race, the contributor to the welfare of humanity in great ways or small.
Aquarius makes for the application of your mental self, so that there are tendencies for you to analyze carefully any given project, or any undertaking dealing with the material world. Also, the more often you undertake projects when others must be considered as well, it will be far better that you manifest a truly cooperative spirit while doing so.
The planet ruled or symbolized by Aquarius is Uranus, which is the purely Atlantean planet. In other words, Uranus is the principal theme of Aquarius, and because Uranus is the realm of a distinctive Atlantean nature, then Aquarius is the zodiacal sign best symbolized by thoughts, personalities and activities akin to the series of prehistoric ‘space age’ civilizations known as Atlantis.
For example, you may once have been involved with scientific discovery and invention, and therefore in the present have the potential again for investigating more scientific or technical areas like computers, engineering, inventing, research, astrology and parapsychology, space travel and the like.
Other similar experiences and abilities with high technologies ranging from electronics in medicine to communications are close to you in terms of your interests and abilities, yet are far away in time. This is also true of a great number of souls who have incarnated in the twentieth century (especially since World War Two), with memories spanning many millennia between the present time and the ancient Atlantean civilizations.
Yet other lifetimes have surely intervened since your Atlantean incarnation. They could range from being an astrologer or magician in the courts of kings to a dedicated pioneer at the frontier of a new land. Or you may have been one who set sail for distant ports only to be carried away in search of lost legends. Other lives, including the present one, could well feature you as one whose stride through life has labeled you as a dreamer, at least to more material-minded souls.
Your response to emotional stimuli is a good deal deeper than you are able to get across to those you love. What you feel is difficult for you to express, and frequently you are misunderstood and imposed on because of this. Your muscles react to emotional stimuli – your impulse is to do something for the loved one, to run errands, give presents; and you get genuine joy from the giving. Your judgment of people isn’t too good; this is because your deepest interest is in your emotions for their own sake, and secondarily in the person on whom they are fixed. As a result they frequently fix on someone not especially interested in you, and you may lavish a lot of emotion and attention before you find out that your love is not reciprocated. Your own responses are true and fine; you expect the same of others-and must learn to estimate others better in order to get back from the world some fair return for all the devotion you give to it.
Venus-Pisces: love-dissolution, spiritually dedication, illusion, reality flight, ballerina, mermaid, art, water lily, drug
Tremendously softhearted and sympathetic, you give very selflessly and devotedly to those you love and often allow others to become overly dependent upon you. More compassionate than passionate, you may become romantically involved with someone because they need love and you want to help them, rather than out of mutual pleasure or attraction.
You are drawn to sensitive, imaginative, gentle souls – poets, musicians, dreamers – or to someone you feel you can have a deep spiritual relationship with. You idealize love and have a very beautiful, romantic vision of what love can be.
Kepler Natal Report
You seek self-justification and acclaim and material success very much as Saturn in Capricorn, but aren’t likely to be so hard boiled about it. Saturn in Aquarius wants fame, recognition and power, but is more concerned with keeping the good opinion of other people in getting it and will rarely if ever hurt them. This position adds gentleness and strength to any chart: the ego requires the approval of society for its own justification – requires the good opinion of men more than their obedience, and is willing to trade respect for love. The social urge in this way is strong, and Saturn in Aquarius will spend a lot of time justifying its transgressions (which may be numerous) and making explanations and excuses for shortcomings. Since society is important to you, you tend to assume that you are important to society, and if your whole chart is very passive, you may come to think that it owes you a living and that your existence is best justified when you are collecting unearned increment. This is an inversion of the urge to serve society which is the best Saturn-in-Aquarius type of self-vindication. If this goes into reverse, you’re vindicated when you enable society to demonstrate its goodness with you as the recipient. To cultivate the social urges on their positive side, to seek the approval of men for progressive and constructive works, to accept responsibility to society as your true means of self-justification, is to live up to the best of this idealistic position of Saturn.
Saturn-Aquarius: law-freedom, resistance, breakthrough, project, construction, industry, railroad, motorway, airport
You have an innate distrust of groups and/or a cynical attitude toward society that may leave you feeling out of step and unable to participate in activities with your peers. Overcoming a sense of aloofness and alienation from others is an important task for you.
Kepler Natal Report
The soul, symbolically newborn in Aries (although not necessarily in its first earthly sojourn), relates to dawn, sunrise, spring and Easter – or the resurrection from its “death” in the previous sign of Pisces.
In this first excursion into the Fire Element – this experience as the first of the three Cardinal signs – the symbolically “newborn” soul projects the positive, masculine vibration of the Day Forces through the explosive vitality of the Aries planetary ruler, Mars. Like a human infant totally self-absorbed, the Aries soul discovers with delight his or her own toes and fingers – its own physical beingness. To satisfy all needs, only a loud cry is necessary, heard and answered instantly by elders. The real infant doubts or fears nothing or no one, simply because it has never experienced denial. Likewise, the Aries “Infant” soul has a natural trust and a touching faith in the unseen force of goodness which will miraculously grant all its wishes.
On the Earth plane this beneficent force is represented by the parents; in a mystical sense, by our co-Creators. And so they look tenderly upon the “newborn” Aries soul, as parents look tenderly upon their infant, lovingly protecting it from its own naivete, wisely denying some of the demands made through the excited awareness that the soul is – he has been born, and is here. The Aries soul senses: “I AM” or “I exist.” And like the symbolic Infant, Aries men and women are oblivious to the possibilities of accident, pain or cruelty on life’s path. He or she learns of these negative experiences only from those advanced beyond, who have gathered harshness, suspicion and the self-survival instinct from the growing process.
There’s a religious adage that all infants, since they die in a state of purity, immediately become angels. Of course! They have not yet met the devil of Temptation. But if the Aries “Infant” survives, he or she must, like the real infant, time and time again, undergo the sharp disappointment of misplaced trust. As the victim of unkindness, a lack of sympathy or abandonment, the newborn shocked, frightened, alone – then yells even louder for attention. In the same manner (and for the same reasons) does the soul of the hurt and disillusioned Aries man or woman need and “seek acceptance, yet court rejection” with a violent emotional reaction to neglect.
The positive qualities of Aries are a heart-tugging innocence and wonder, blind faith and raw courage. Expressed in their negative forms, they can become selfish egotism, thoughtlessness, aggressiveness and impulsive action with no regard for the consequences.
To the Aries soul, Love is a necessity oflife, which is taken for granted; for in it’s infancy of awareness, Love is synonymous with existence itself. Therefore, devotion is instinctively expected and joyously accepted, but with little comprehension of how to return it. Aries demands Love, for like the infant, without Love, Aries dies. When emotional abandonment (symbolically) can mean death, even the hint of it can bring on unreasonable panic, and inexplicable terror, calmed only by repeated reassurances. Aries continually needs to be reminded that “if winter comes” ….. .the miracle of spring cannot be far behind.
Well, there’s no doubt about it – you are sensitive, extremely sensitive – and extremely capable. You have a good deal of pride in your own ability, a sort of determination to live up to the best that is in you in a personal and artistic way. This is one of the positions that makes for both artists and executives, students and doers at the same time, for your intellectual powers are strong and are bolstered up still further by an intuitive understanding of both people and things. You know how to catch the imagination of your audience, however broad or narrow it may be, without giving up any least iota of your own individualism, which is peculiarly precious to you. You have a keen social sense and a sense of the dramatic, which makes you lively company when you’re in the mood.
You are much subject to moods and can change from sprightly gayety to pretty heavy dejection, all in the twinkling of an eyelash. You know how to manage people to your own ends, which, if the truth can be known, do not always coincide with the ends of other people. There’s a good deal of selfishness here – perhaps not selfishness so much as self-centeredness. You know well enough what will make other people happy, but you are more likely than not to give your own whims precedence over the needs of other people – at the same time that you are able to make them think that you are really the best and most considerate of souls. You wouldn’t willfully hurt a fly, but, on the other hand, it seems as if you frequently do hurt people without understanding that you are doing so.
You have a keen sense of the dramatic and could therefore be successful either directly on the stage, as an actor, or in related arts and crafts that deal with drama through the spoken or written word. You are extremely fluent both in speech and writing, with a wit and charm to your manner of expression that make you popular. You give the impression of independence, originality, and dash, even when you’re internally quavering at your own daring and wondering how you are mustering up the courage to appear so exciting.
You love your home and all things connected with it despite the fact that this position often brings obligations from family ties that are far from appealing. You are able, through will power, to work out your intimate personal problems, but in the working out there may be a good deal of self-dramatization which impedes the progress of your rational solution. You should learn, for your greatest success, not to take yourself too seriously in your personal life; and to transfer your dramatic sense and your energy into the outer world where your natural talents will find a public, and a just reward.
Aries’ great independence is a symptom of vitality and physical energy and becomes intellectualized later in life, if at all. The highest type of Arian becomes capable of idealizing and universalizing his love of independence, which has its source in egocentricity. The first ambition of the Arian is to be first. He is an inveterate contestant, a professional competitor. His object is not so much the material stake as the glory of winning. He will never boast about coming in second; the also-rans he beats impress him less than the one fellow who beats him and thus steals his rightful place at the head of the procession.
Literally as well as figuratively this first-ness shows. Your Arian walks one step ahead of his companions, goes through doors first, has the first word (and often the last) in any argument. He loves arguments, not as a means of arriving at truth so much as a means of demonstrating that he can come out in front. He often wins by sheer noise and vitality – that is, he makes the other fellow cry uncle. Aries is frequently original in his efforts to be first, and, when not original, is sure to be novel. Any Arian who doesn’t understand the difference between originality and novelty should study the two words till he does. When an Arian is original he is a pioneer, an inventor, a great thinker. When he is only novel, he is putting first his ego ideal to be first and neglecting to make his ideas sound and his methods practical. He thus loses the benefit of his energy, his genius and his ambition. All the bugaboos of the ego beset the Arian, and he must beware of self-centeredness. This can make him arrogant, conceited, self-pitying, self-assertive, and in the face of opposition or restraint can lead to delusions of persecution in mild or acute form. To forget self, to become absorbed in mental matters, to put ideas first, and to make sure that originality (or novelties) rest on a sound basis of fact, to see the other fellow’s point of view, and to regard the other fellow’s needs, wishes, desires just as seriously as his own are the means by which Aries may emphasize his great good points, and insure that his desire to be first shall actually cause him to be first.
With Neptune’s transit out of Aquarius and into Pisces we will pass from massive change personally and socially into understanding a new order of life. Our natural psychic faculties will be called upon as we understand what has happened during the first decade of a new millennium. Idealism and self-sacrificing ways will be strong. Money and wealth will take on different meaning. You will recognize others in yourself to a much greater degree. Take this opportunity to recognize less disparity between your wants and the wants of others. Your opportunity to work for the greater social good increases. Your comprehension of the previous transit, Neptune in Aquarius, will need the icing of a leap of faith. Risk and trust through intuition will be necessary in order to bridge the gaps between nations and individuals. Taking care of your self, physically, emotionally and spiritually, will naturally take on added meaning. Watch a tendency toward imagination and vision insufficiently buttressed with concrete plans for completion and execution.
Neptune-Pisces: dissolution, imagination, ocean, net, forest, plants, medicine, drug, picture, color, deceit, secret mysticism
You are part of a 14 year group of people that are very intuitive, receptive, and imaginative. The arts and music are very important to your age group, and they flourish with your support, talent, and contributions. There is a rich and varied abundance of artistic and musical productivity from your age group.
All manner of religions and psychic investigations grow as well. There is a great interest in ultimate questions and answers and also in phenomena that do not seem to be explicable by scientific concepts. Mysticism is on the rise with your age group. The spiritual qualities of compassion and sacrifice are also highly valued and are more openly honored and respected than by other age groups. Spiritual and emotional sensitivity are so strong that there is a problem of escapism through alcohol and drugs, which is likely to increase during your generation.
Kepler Natal Repor
The singleness of purpose of the Taurean, his loyalty, his stick-to-it-iveness, spring from one source: his need for security. Self-preservation, the first law animating all assure in some degree, is the hub of the Taurean wheel of life; and the Taurean curls and dies within himself when security – emotional or material – is denied him. Not likely to be grasping, sure to be the embodiment of the idealist form of love, Taurus may himself, or herself, be quite unaware of inner motives, for self-analysis rarely important to this sign. Instincts are powerful and generally right – always right in so far as they serve the perhaps unarticulated motives of the Taurean, who, while not selfish in the ordinary material sense, sees to it that nothing interferes with the gratifying of his instinctual urge, self-preservation and its more abstracted form, self-fulfillment. The Taurean will not interfere with you if you don’t interfere with him in these essentials, but will fight like a bear at bay for his rights to these things. He is the easiest person to live with, if you are willing to live with him and not against him. Anyone who is going to get along with a Taurean must understand that to him or her cooperation doesn’t mean doing things together; it means doing things peacefully, in a friendly manner, even if the things are done separately. This kind of cooperation annoys people who are less self-sufficient until they learn that the heart of the Taurean comes home to roost only if you don’t try to coerce it, and will break itself against bars of any kind, even if the bars are put up by love itself. The Taurean is so sure of his need for security that he resents any implication that he needs watching or holding; his instinct is to hold himself to what he needs and wants – and he can’t by any force in the world be held to anything else. On the other hand, once he has polarized his instinct on an essential, he will cling to it with hands, teeth and toenails, and no one can tell him that it is unworthy, or wrong, or useless, or low. Once it is his, in that it satisfies his deepest needs, it is his forever, whether it be home, a man, a woman, ambition, love, money or anything. When the Taurean has determined in his deep and sometimes dark subconscious that his emotional or material security lies there, he goes there and stays there forever.
It seems that the psychology of the masculine combines very well with Aquarius to bring out the intellectual bias of the sign. So the epitome of the Aquarian male is the thinker, the dreamer, the philosopher, the scientist. Also, the problem men in our society have confronting emotional situations generally is aggravated in Aquarius. Aquarian women, while they don’t handle their own emotions very well, are usually at least aware of them. But no one is more out of touch with his own feeling nature than the typical Aquarian male.
So the Aquarian male is often one of the most infuriating people you will ever meet when it comes to relationships. First of all, the coolness has a lot of pride. Control of emotion is a big thing for Aquarius. No matter how much he’s hurting, unless he’s about to have a breakdown, he will often not grant you the satisfaction of knowing about it.
Another problem he’s got is that he often sees emotion as a demand. Remember the Aquarian is very big on the idea of freedom. This is often carried to outlandish extremes in personal relationships. Typical of it is the Aquarian man who refuses to tell you what day and time you’ll see him again – because he doesn’t ‘believe’ in time. Or the Aquarian man who ‘believes’ in open relationships, and tells you truthfully (because he believes in truth, and feels everything should be open between you) about the three other lovers you have to compete with. Not that you asked. It’s just that he believes in truth, and doesn’t understand why you should be hurt and make a scene. It’s unreasonable and possessive, and you shouldn’t be so self-centred. Everybody, he will tell you, benefits from it. Shouldn’t we all love each other? If you love him, you should love his other girlfriends, because they love him too, and he…Well, you know the story. It can make even the most tolerant lover develop homicidal instincts.
You may have the sort of Aquarian who simply refuses to discuss personal feelings. Or he may tell you you’re being very ‘heavy’ and too emotional. The problem is, he’s often grossly hypocritical about all this. When the tables are turned on him, he’s capable of behaving as much like Othello as any Scorpio is. But he won’t be as honest about it, because he’ll drag in things like honesty and loyalty and other concepts which damn your behaviour without conceding that the real root of his upset is his feelings, not his principles.
The only way to deal with this kind of Aquarian is to out-Aquarian him. That means challenging his beliefs, so that he can find out whether he really believes in them or not. If it means being a little unpredictable yourself, or requesting your own freedom of behaviour. Remember that this is a fixed sign. Fixed signs aren’t adaptable; they don’t adjust easily to other people. They have their own world, their own values. They don’t like being pushed. That reforming instinct in Aquarius simply doesn’t apply when you try to reform him. You’ve got to have a good deal of your own detachment, and some source of creative life of your own, if you want to make a relationship work with an Aquarian. He’s not prepared to put that much into relationships on an emotional level. You simply have to get used to it, and learn to read his signals, not his words. A good deal of the time, what Aquarian says about his feelings should not be taken literally. You can take his word for it on his ideological views, or his special subject of study. He’s pretty reliable there, and usually knows what he’s doing. About his own emotions he usually knows very little. Learn to use your instincts, and learn a little telepathy. But don’t expect an honest expression; you’ll get what he calls honesty, which usually has nothing to do with it, because in this realm he isn’t very honest with himself.
On the other hand, expect a good deal of unconscious emotional dependency. That independent spirit, with his mental mind in the clouds and his eyes on the future, is more sensitive than he can ever know. He’s terribly vulnerable emotionally, rather childlike, which is why he takes such great pains to mask his emotions from everybody including himself. He would consider it weakness. If you need overt displays of it, avoid Aquarius. If you’re confident enough in yourself to know you’re worth loving, and can appreciate the friendship this man offers, you’re fine. And who knows? You may even reform him, within reason.
From the book “Astrology for Lovers,” written by Liz Green.
Your genius is for inner truth and self-sufficiency. Rugged individualism in the economic sense will not appeal to you, but in the security of a new social order you will achieve a new individualism, based on self-knowledge and self-respect. You will take for granted the new world in which your maturity will be spent, a world of greater social equality. And in this world you will not drop to the mediocre level that is prophesied by the reactionary prophets of doom: you will, on the contrary, develop a new genius: the genius of personal development for its own sake, quite apart from the necessity of earning a living. You will know yourself better than your fathers and mothers and your older brothers and sisters knew themselves: you will make demands on yourself and drive yourself to new heights of personal accomplishment. Your genius is for the adventure of self-discovery and self-development, and in this adventure you will range new fields of unprecedented profundity.
Uranus-Pisces: freedom-dissolution, vision, utopia, ship, ebb, flood, vagrant life, hippie, chemical industry, metaphysics
You are part of a 7 year group of people who are very creative in the arts, music, literature, and philosophy. Your age group draws upon some new inspirations and has a talent for weaving many seemingly disparate styles into a new, refreshing synthesis. Much of the creative inspiration of your period is very refined and sensitive, and some of the greatest artistic and literary works of your generation will receive full recognition only after many decades have passed. You are a group that is primarily concerned with the quality of your creative endeavor rather than its distribution and marketing.
Kepler Natal Report
Mind power and ability to detach yourself from personal considerations are your chief assets. You can reason things out with a fine, hard, critical analysis and, through being able to keep your emotions out of situations you achieve an unusually sane judgment. If you have had a good education you go far in an intellectual, creative, or professional career. You are expressive and can be eloquent in either writing or speech. You can reason from a minimum of evidence and through intellectual subtlety can make the worse appear the better cause. You are a hard opponent in argument or debate, and even in personal matters you bring your reason and your argumentativeness to bear. You believe in the power of the spoken and written word, and this is likely to make oddities in your emotional life. You can think up reasons and excuses for your affections and emotions and expect other people to do the same. You aren’t an especially good loser, either in intellectual or emotional matters, and you have a way of seeming hurt if people don’t agree with you or if your persuasiveness fails. Your emotions are so bound up with your thinking processes that you think those who love you ought to agree with you and those who agree with you must love you. Since the rest of the world doesn’t understand this attitude, you are likely to feel pretty lonely. A good deal of self-pity accompanies this position. You take yourself pretty seriously and feel aggrieved when others do not do the same. A peculiarly detached approach to matters of affection and love brings you disappointments, for you are much in need of companionship, which you do not make apparent in the most direct manner possible. You are sensitive and very conscious of rebuffs, perhaps imagining them when they do not actually exist. You are proud and therefore appear self-sufficient, which you are not really at all.